[Recording Start]
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What’s the nonsense with jobs you’ve had? How were the odds with that?
Rick Rosner: Some nonsense jobs?
Jacobsen: Or nonsense with management in jobs. There you go.
Rosner: There was a bar, The Ore house in Santa Monica on the border with Venice which put it in a semi-tough neighborhood. Didn’t matter, that was not the issue. They had a few nights a week where you could come in and get a lot of alcohol for not a lot of money. Very popular place, they paid, I believe 10 bucks for the bouncers for every fake ID they caught. The average bouncer is not very good at catching fake IDs or not very concerned with it. So the money incentive was kind of helpful in maintaining some minimum standards of people getting their IDs checked. But I was always very interested and very competent at catching fake IDs and some nights I’d catch 12 and my boss hated this because sometimes it was cute girls with IDs that probably would have passed muster. I mean he was a dick. He was he had a pregnant girlfriend at home but he was fucking one of the waitresses. His name was Randy; most guys named Randy are pieces of shit. He drove a Camaro I believe, or an IROC Z, which is like a fancier Camaro, just a fucking asshole.
So he became discontented with me because I was catching IDs which was my job but I was doing my job too well. He fired me for missing a meeting that I was at and it was completely apparent that I was at the meeting because I was right there in front of him. It didn’t matter. So I decided to make things as awkward as possible when he fired me. I just got on my knees and begged him to keep my job because I have no pride and I figured it would make things extra weird and I didn’t care about the humiliation of it. I just wanted to make it weird for the fucker. Anyway, he sucked.
I had a job at the United Pet Center in Albuquerque, in 1978, when I was 18. This is a pet store. They probably had 110 puppies in it. They talk about puppy mills now like they’re a terrible sight of disease and maltreatment but in 1978 nobody knew from puppy mills. All I knew was that there were more than 100 puppies in cages in the fucking place, just every place; every possible surface had a cage with a puppy. I don’t know if puppies have diarrhea if they’re healthy but all these puppies had diarrhea and my entire job was just changing out newspaper covered with puppy shit. I was also starving. This was the first time I went back to high school and so I was kind of trying to support myself while I went on this ridiculous dumb enterprise. I had enough money for about one meal a day. So I would sneak dog food or Puppy Chow which is disgusting but not as disgusting as cat food. I tried cat chow and that shit’s bad that shit has bone shards in it and a bone shard stuck in my throat. So, anyway that was a terrible job.
I’ve had various jobs as strippers and doing stripagrams and one time my boss sent me out to… this high this guy and his wife were having a water fight that was escalating, so I was hired to just show up and instead of give a stripagram to dump water I believe on the husband. I missed with most of the water but I did beat him with the bucket, fortunately the bucket was plastic and nobody was overly upset but I highly doubt that this couple is still married. When you’re hiring people to you know, because you’re at war with your wife, even if it’s a friendly war, I don’t know. So there are some stupid jobs I’ve had.
I’ve had art modeling jobs that have gone bad. Most jobs are legit, you’ve got like artists drawing you or art students drawing or painting or sculpting you. Every once in a while you’ll get somebody like, “Can you get hard?” This happened three, four, or five times in my modeling career. I’m like “I guess. Do you have any porn for me to look at?” is generally my response to that. And so, I mostly would and yes it’s creepy but I could go home and like recast and get rid of the creepy guy and replace in my fantasies and replace the creepy kind of artist who really just wants to see a guy with a boner or guy with a sexy lady who wants to see a guy with a boner.
So there you go, there’s some weird jobs I’ve had.
[Recording End]
Authors
Rick Rosner
American Television Writer
Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Founder, In-Sight Publishing
In-Sight Publishing
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In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Based on a work at http://www.rickrosner.org.
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Rick Rosner 