19Scott Douglas Jacobsen: This is from the Associated Press. The article’s title is “Robert F. Kennedy Jr. says he left a dead bear in Central Park.” What happened? What the hell happened? 

Rick Rosner: So, according to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., he was contacted for comment by the New Yorker that this story would come out. Ten years ago, a dead bear cub was found in Central Park in Manhattan next to an abandoned bicycle. The news media in New York freaked out because why was there a bear in Central Park?

It was later determined that the bear had died after being hit by a car, so the whole thing was mysterious. Within the last few days, RFK Jr. was contacted by the New Yorker magazine for comment because they’d gotten to the bottom of the bear story. He released his version of it in a conversation video with Roseanne Barr. There’s now a video of Robert Kennedy Jr. saying he was driving to do some falconry one morning into the woods. The car in front of him…

A car in front of RFK Jr. hit a bear and killed a bear cub. RFK Jr. stops and grabs the dead bear and throws it into his vehicle because he says he’s going to take it home, skin it, and eat the meat.

So he’s got it in his vehicle all day, and later, he’s out with friends at Peter Luger’s Steakhouse, I guess. They’re discussing what to do about the bear. RFK is persuaded to get rid of the bear by dumping it in Central Park, and they find an abandoned bicycle. They try to make it look like the bicycle hit the bear and killed it. This 10-year mystery of who dumped the bear now goes back to one of our fucking idiot presidential candidates. This guy is a piece of shit from way back. So he kept a diary. In the diary, he wrote down all his sexual encounters while married, ranking the encounters from one for flirting to ten for fucking. In 2001, he recorded 37 encounters, 16 of which were full-on fucking.

While married to his second wife, several years later, they were going through a divorce, and the wife found the diary, which included all these write-ups of the sex, and she hanged herself to death. That is awful and unethical.

It’s awful hearing that. He’s been addicted to heroin. He published a photo of him gleefully eating a dog in some foreign country. I know that some countries eat dogs, but it doesn’t seem fucking presidential. You can give him credit for not being addicted to heroin anymore. Now, he’s addicted to testosterone. He’s said anti-Semitic shit. He’s a vax denier. He’s a lunatic. Neither he nor his vice-presidential partner on the ticket have any experience holding elected office. He’s been a huge piece of shit at various points in his life. So, I don’t like the guy.

Jacobsen: What positive traits might he have to take the devil’s advocate position?

Rosner: Since he’s such a fucking lunatic, he might take more votes away from Trump than he does from Harris. Ideally, people see what he’s like, and I think his numbers keep dropping as more and more people see what an a-hole he is. But whatever, I hope he gets less than 5% of the vote. And I hope that he takes—if we’ll ever be able to tell for sure—but I hope he takes most of that 5% from Trump. That people have gotten disgusted with Trump, so they want a fresh face, even though they’re still pretty much lunatics, so they fucking vote for RFK Jr.

Jacobsen: Other positive points?

Rosner: He’s so off-putting. He’s got this big bloated high blood pressure face, maybe partially because he’s doing a ton of testosterone. He has something wrong with his voice, and we’re not supposed to make fun of people with a handicap, but he’s pretty off-putting. But it’s the American political landscape that some people like voting for an off-putting a-hole. The negatives so far outweigh the positives. He might stand for some things like government accountability and environmental issues, but the things that we know him for far outweigh any incidental things he might have half right. 

Jacobsen: Let’s call it a day. Thank you.

Rosner: Thanks. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

Jacobsen: Bye.

Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org

Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com

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