Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Did you hear about Bangladesh? What is happening there?

Rick Rosner: Oh, Bangladesh. Did I hear about the overthrow of the leader? No. I heard that the government was killing a bunch of protesters in the streets. I didn’t know that they succeeded in dumping him.

Jacobsen: Yes, Sheikh Hasina is out. 

Rosner: Who’s in charge of the country now?

Jacobsen: No one. But they want Muhammad Yunus to run it. What are your thoughts on Snoop Dogg at the Olympics? Mine is, it’s fine. He’s a legitimate celebrity.

Rosner: These people like him. He’s been famous for probably 40 years now. Jimmy Kimmel is amused by him. One thing I remember him saying in a couple of interviews is, “You murdered people,” because, apparently, if that’s true or not, but Snoop was a huge gang guy as a young man. And he did kill people. Jimmy wouldn’t say something like that unless there was some truth to it. Snoop would laugh it off. But we’ve had celebrities who’ve been murderers. What’s his name? The boxing promoter? King. 

Jacobsen: Oh, I know who you’re talking about, King. 

Rosner: He murdered at least one guy and maybe two guys. Laura Bush didn’t murder anybody, but she did commit vehicular manslaughter. George W. Bush’s wife. She ran a stop sign at a really empty intersection in rural Texas and smashed into an ex-boyfriend and killed him, which is terrible. Caitlyn Jenner was texting and not paying attention on PCH, Pacific Coast Highway, and rear-ended somebody, killing that lady. So we have some. Mark Wahlberg hasn’t killed anybody, but when he was young and thuggy, he beat up some guy and caused the guy to lose an eye.

Tim Allen hasn’t hurt anybody, but he went to prison for a few years for dealing coke as a young man. So you can come back from criminality or a horrible mishap. Now Snoop is a good guy. He’s a football coach. I’m sure he funds youth football programs. I’m sure he’s a good citizen now. The Olympics are nice. They’re a chance for everybody to shut the fuck up and just watch people do stuff for a couple of weeks. 

Jacobsen: Do you have any favorite songs of his?

Rosner: Of Snoop? No. If I could recognize the song, that would count as a favorite. I’m bad on rap. 

Jacobsen: How about “Drop It Like It’s Hot”? 

Rosner: I guess. I quit paying much attention to music after Prince and Michael Jackson. That’s early ’80s. By 1986, I’d started dating Carole and my disco days were largely over. But, yes, I would still bounce at bars, but going to clubs and trying to dance my way into some woman’s underpants, those days were over. So my musical knowledge is decades out of date, though I like Billie Eilish. Her stuff sounds good, and her lyrics are pretty funny. 

Jacobsen: She’s talented and young. She’s really, really good.

Rosner: Yes, she’s ridiculously young. But she just goes ahead and talks about whatever she wants to talk about. She’ll say, “Sometimes it’s good just to jerk off,” which I respect because I say the same thing. I saw a documentary on Amy Winehouse. Turns out her lyrics were really funny too. If I paid more attention to lyrics, which I should now, I’d probably find a lot of stuff to appreciate. Outside of rap, there was an era in the ’90s where lyrics were pretty weak. Rap has always had strong lyrics, but outside of rap, there was a lot of R&B that helped me not pay much attention to music. On the other hand, I just wasn’t paying enough attention to see that there was some R&B that I wouldn’t have found annoying.

The boy band era was also a reason for me not to pay much attention. But I’m sure there’s a ton of good music that I’m missing. Carole got me satellite radio, and I listen to nothing but stand-up routines when I’m driving from gym to gym. So I’m missing out on music, but it’s important for me to hear dozens and dozens of stand-up routines because it helps with my sense of cadence and writing sentences that flow well.

Not nice in that they’re sweet, but nice in that they have an internal rhythm and don’t have a lot of extra stuff going on. One of the most important jobs of editing is cutting superfluous stuff, and you can usually go through somebody’s writing, including my own, and cut 10 to 15%, just pulling unnecessary words out of sentences.

Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org

Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com

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