Rick Rosner: Yesterday, the Mega Millions lottery awarded someone $1.2 billion. If you choose the payment spread over time, which almost nobody does because it’s a bad deal, you’d get about $550 to $560 million as a lump sum. I forget if that’s before or after taxes, but it’s a significant amount either way.

What would you do if you had a windfall of half a billion dollars?

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: I’d invest it in long-term, low-risk investments that generate wealth over time. Then, I’d use the dividends or interest from those investments to donate to charitable causes. That way, the impact could grow beyond the direct monetary value.

Rosner: I agree. Carole and I discussed this and even bought a couple of tickets. With two tickets, our odds dropped to one in about 151 million. Then we found out the winner was in California, which lowered our odds since we’re also in California.

Of course, we didn’t win anything, but if we had, we’d likely set up a charitable foundation to offer scholarships—and park the rest of the money in low-risk investments that generate steady dividends.

Treasury bills, maybe? Or should we consider some riskier options, like Nvidia? I’m not sure.

I’d use part of it to self-finance some of the projects I’ve brainstormed with others over the years but haven’t been able to fund. I’d also consider hiring a PR firm to help generate traction for initiatives I want to bring to life.

Some people have built entire careers by investing in PR. Pia Zadora, for instance, was a singer and actress who gained most of her recognition through public relations, largely because of her marriage to a wealthy man. She was even nominated for a Golden Globe.

Rosner: If I won $600 million and you approached me for a grant, what would it be for?

Jacobsen: I’d propose funding a business idea focused on the low-cost distribution of renewable energy technologies—specifically photovoltaics and batteries—for regions with abundant sunlight. These technologies could dramatically improve lives in areas that need energy the most, such as parts of Africa. Africa is the only continent where population growth is expected to continue increasing over the next 20 years, and energy needs will grow.

Rosner: That’s a worthy cause. I’d likely hire a team of physicists to flesh out some of my physics-related ideas. I also indulge in a few luxury items. For instance, I collect mosaics, though not on a large scale. I recently bought a mosaic pin for $16, but I’d probably splurge and spend up to $50 on pins if I had more money.

I’ve always wanted to be rich enough to eat sushi whenever possible. But I’d avoid eating too much predatory fish, like tuna. Predatory fish accumulate mercury because of the food chain. Smaller fish absorb mercury, which builds up as larger fish eat them. Tuna, as an apex predator, accumulates the highest levels of mercury, which can be harmful if consumed in excess.

Tuna can weigh over 100 pounds and contain a lot of mercury. So, while I’d enjoy eating sushi, if I had more money, I might stick to vegetarian fish options or salmon.

I am also considering an eyebrow lift. My eyelids have started to droop, but I’m not sure. Maybe I’d do it—or maybe not. I don’t know. I’d probably get a fill-in set of hair plugs, however. I’m a bit sparse across the front. It’s not so bad that I’d want to spend the money with my current financial situation. Still, it’d be an easier decision if I had unlimited funds.

Right now, it’s a couple thousand dollars for hair plugs. If I had $600 million, earning 5% interest annually, that would be $30 million yearly. After taxes, let’s say that’s $19 million a year. That breaks down to around $50,000 a day. Spending $2,500 on hair plugs would only be 5% of a single day’s interest income. That’s manageable.

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Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org

Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com

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