Rick Rosner is an accomplished television writer with credits on shows like Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Crank Yankers, and The Man Show. Over his career, he has earned multiple Writers Guild Award nominations—winning one—and an Emmy nomination. Rosner holds a broad academic background, graduating with the equivalent of eight majors. Based in Los Angeles, he continues to write and develop ideas while spending time with his wife, daughter, and two dogs.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen is the publisher of In-Sight Publishing (ISBN: 978-1-0692343) and Editor-in-Chief of In-Sight: Interviews (ISSN: 2369-6885). He writes for The Good Men Project, International Policy Digest (ISSN: 2332–9416), The Humanist (Print: ISSN 0018-7399; Online: ISSN 2163-3576), Basic Income Earth Network (UK Registered Charity 1177066), A Further Inquiry, and other media. He is a member in good standing of numerous media organizations.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen and Rick Rosner dive into aging and digestive realities, comparing bathroom habits from youth to later life. Rosner recounts his painful history with internal hemorrhoids, an anal-tightening surgery, magnesium’s role in smoother bowel movements, and the stark difference between “lead blocker” bowel waves and soft stool after recovery.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Alright. The next topic is a concentric circle around a dot, or whatever you call it. Have we done this one? Comparing your poops from your twenties to now?
Rick Ronser: Nope. Alright. So, generally, they have gotten better. Until a few years ago, I had internal hemorrhoids that would often bleed, which made me anemic. I had them fixed.
It turns out that internal hemorrhoids are less painful than external ones. I first had them removed when I was 15 or 16. Hurts like hell. Especially since I was an idiot and had pizza delivered to the hospital.
When they came back, which they do, I went to a specialist to see if they could use the rubber band method. Moreover, the guy laughs at me. Says, “No, we are going to have to disconnect your colon from your asshole, cut off two inches of colon, then sew it back on.”
I said, “There is no fucking way.” That doctor was a fucking asshole.
Have you ever had a doctor be a total dick?
Jacobsen: Oh yeah. When I was healing from leg surgery, my doctor told me, “Make sure to eat some broccoli.” That was the full advice—nothing about the clot.
Rosner: Wait—you had a blood clot?
Jacobsen: ACL surgery, then a clot. It could have killed me. My leg swelled up twice the size.
Rosner: Did a competent doctor eventually get in there?
Jacobsen: No. It resolved on its own. I missed the first follow-up appointment but attended the second, and he said, “It was a clot. You could have died.”
Rosner: If it had broken loose and hit your lungs, yeah. You would be fucked. Yep. Anyway, years later, I saw a different guy. A guy I trusted—he had fixed my hernia. Dr. Bitterman.
He said, “Yeah, that is internal hemorrhoids. Easy fix. They do not have nerve endings, so it will not hurt. We will leave the external ones—they are painful to operate on and not causing problems.”
So—he fixed my asshole, and my poops have significantly improved—one odd side effect, though: he tightened my asshole. So now my dukeys are thinner, especially the soft ones. The harder dukeys still batter their way out of my ass at about the diameter of my colon. However, the softer ones come about half an inch wide, which is fine. I do not care.
Carole got me on magnesium. I do not know exactly how it works, but I used to take a ton of fiber gummies to make my shitting happen. Somehow, magnesium makes for reasonable dukeys.
However, if I miss a day—if I do not get that shit signal and it has been two days—the initial wave, what my former writing partner used to call the “lead blockers,” comes out pretty hard. They are kind of tough to pass.
Rosner: So there you go. That is my shitting. You asked.
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Rick Rosner 