What has been Rick’s experience with Shabbat dinners in North America?

Scott Douglas Jacobsen interviews Rick Rosner on Reform Jewish Shabbat practices and the foundations of a grounded life in mid-century America. Rosner describes a minimal, symbolic Shabbat—candles, blessings, and dinner—without strict observance. He emphasizes that structure and stability came not from ritual, but from his stepfather’s principled character, community engagement, and disciplined financial planning. Growing up in Boulder, Colorado, Rosner experienced a modest lifestyle shaped by uncertainty in a family business, reinforcing frugality and resilience. Through everyday routines, local relationships, and practical wisdom, he portrays a grounded upbringing rooted more in lived values than in formal religious adherence.

Shabbat practices in a Reform Jewish household

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What has your experience been with Shabbat dinners in North America?

Rick Rosner: We are Reform Jews. My mother grew up somewhat Orthodox—her grandfather, I believe, was a rabbi. But as Jewish communities moved west in the United States, especially into regions such as the Southwest, levels of religious observance often became less strict. Some families remained highly observant, but we did not associate much with them.

Growing up, our Shabbat was simple. We lit candles, said a blessing over them, said a blessing over the wine—even if we did not have wine—and a blessing over the bread—even if we did not have bread. Then we ate dinner. That was it.

Because we were Reform, we did not observe restrictions on work. More observant communities—particularly Orthodox Judaism, and to a lesser extent some Conservative communities—prohibit activities such as driving or handling certain everyday tasks that are categorized as work under religious law. We did none of that. We lived normally. From the outside, you might not have identified us as Jewish based on how we spent Friday night or Saturday.

Ritual versus grounding influences

Jacobsen: So there was little ritual. What do things like having dogs, having a child, or observing Shabbat—when you did—contribute to keeping you grounded? That has been part of our broader discussion about you.

Rosner: What kept us grounded was not ritual. I was disorganized growing up. We did not learn many of these details until much later.

My stepfather, however, was an upstanding and reasonable man—a Republican from an earlier era of the party. He lived in a liberal town, Boulder, Colorado, and had strong principles. He was also a small business owner who knew many people in the community and maintained broad relationships, even if he privately thought some were foolish. He rarely insulted people directly, though occasionally he would.

He was deeply engaged with the world around him and had a practical understanding of how it functioned.

Community engagement and worldview

It is very different from how people understand the world now—or fail to understand it. If you are constantly on your phone and being exposed to misinformation, you do not understand the world. My stepfather was a smart, community-oriented person. As a small businessman, he spent his days in or in front of his store, talking to people. He understood what was going on around him. That helped keep us grounded.

Material culture and modest lifestyle

He only bought American-made products. Our bikes were Schwinn—heavy and difficult to ride. I had a Sting-Ray model that looked good but was impractical, especially in a hilly place like Boulder. As a physically slight kid, I struggled riding it uphill. I remember passing another boy while wearing an unfortunate sweater and realizing how I must have appeared from his perspective—awkward and easy to target. He threw a piece of pavement at me, missed, and I kept going.

Looking back, I reacted passively. If I had my current mindset then, I might have responded differently. At the time, I simply continued on.

We also drove American cars during a period when their quality was often considered inconsistent compared to some foreign competitors. More importantly, my stepfather insisted that we live modestly. Our home was not large—under 1,600 square feet for a family of four—and we never upgraded, even though my mother initially viewed it as a starter home.

Financial structure and long-term planning

The deeper reason for this frugality only became clear decades later. My stepfather ran a family clothing business, but ownership remained with his mother. She had arranged things so that she could require him to buy the business from her at any time or lose it entirely. Anticipating that possibility, he quietly saved money for years to ensure he could purchase the store if necessary.

Because of this, although the business generated reasonable income, we lived carefully and without extravagance. That underlying financial uncertainty—and his disciplined response to it—was a major factor in keeping our household grounded.

Food, daily life, and routine

If liver is prepared well, it is fine. My mother was not a great cook—though she should not have been expected to be; she was a brilliant woman. Still, we ate liver regularly. We did not live fancy lives. We did not take elaborate vacations.

My stepfather had to travel to New York about five times a year for the clothing business. At the time, there was no online shopping, so he had to visit showrooms, review fashion lines, and decide what would sell in his store. Those trips were strictly for business. Once a year, he might take my mother along, and they would see a few plays and stay for about a week. Occasionally, every few years, we children would go as well. On one trip, we visited Washington, D.C. to see the seat of government. But there were no luxury vacations—no international travel, nothing extravagant.

Overall lifestyle and grounding

We lived modestly because of the underlying financial uncertainty I mentioned earlier. We were not deprived—we never went hungry—but we were careful. During the week, we would sometimes go to a buffet at the Elks Club, perhaps a few times a month. It was simple and routine.

Overall, we lived a grounded, typical American life. That was what kept me grounded.

Rick Rosner is an accomplished television writer with credits on shows like Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Crank Yankers, and The Man Show. Over his career, he has earned multiple Writers Guild Award nominations—winning one—and an Emmy nomination. Rosner holds a broad academic background, graduating with the equivalent of eight majors. Based in Los Angeles, he continues to write and develop ideas while spending time with his wife, daughter, and two dogs.

Scott Douglas Jacobsen is a Writer-Editor for www.rickrosner.org with more than 2,000 collaborative short-form and long-form interviews with Rick Rosner. He is the Founder and Publisher of In-Sight Publishing (ISBN: 978-1-0692343; 978-1-0673505) and Editor-in-Chief of In-Sight: Interviews (ISSN: 2369-6885). He writes for International Policy Digest (ISSN: 2332–9416), The Humanist (Print: ISSN, 0018-7399; Online: ISSN, 2163-3576), Basic Income Earth Network (UK Registered Charity 1177066), Humanist Perspectives (ISSN: 1719-6337), A Further Inquiry (SubStack), Vocal, Medium, The Good Men Project, The New Enlightenment Project, The Washington Outsider, rabble.ca, and other media. His bibliography index can be found via the Jacobsen Bank at In-Sight Publishing comprised of more than 10,000 articles, interviews, and republications, in more than 200 outlets. He has served in national and international leadership roles within humanist and media organizations, held several academic fellowships, and currently serves on several boards. He is a member in good standing in numerous media organizations, including the Canadian Association of Journalists, PEN Canada (CRA: 88916 2541 RR0001), and Reporters Without Borders (SIREN: 343 684 221/SIRET: 343 684 221 00041/EIN: 20-0708028), and others.

Photo by Ashe Walker on Unsplash

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