The Middle-Aged Genius’s Guide to Almost Everything 9 – Cutting Losses in Relationships, Other Factors
April 1, 2018
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Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What are some other factors in terms of cutting your losses within a relationship?
Rick Rosner: Well, I would say that the major factors might be whether you and/or the person you’re in a relationship with are horrible people.
If you don’t care about hurting other people’s feelings, there’s still factors to consider about whether or not to exit a relationship or not.
You can be a horrible person and not care about hurting other people’s feelings but still find it painful because of the consequences of hurting other people’s feelings; costs, years of accusations, eventually feeling bad if you have kids and they hate you for the rest of your life, and then some of the factors we’ll go into about whether you can actually do better.
So, just because you’re horrible doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t seriously consider your situation.
And if your significant other is a horrible person you have to evaluate how much potential damage she is causing to you and anybody else involved and what form the horribleness it takes; whether it’s daily horribleness or you just know that you’re with an a-hole, but it’s not terrible to be with an a-hole, that it’s a manageable thing, that outwardly they’re okay and you just know that inside they might be jerks. And then beyond that I was talking to my conservative buddy Lance just incidentally on this subject last night and he brings up what I consider to be maybe the next most important factor which is if you’re a guy how much money you have.
He cited studies and just personal opinion that if you have a decent income or a bunch of assets your ability to win over a higher quality partner is enhanced.
The more money you have the more likely it is you can find someone who meets your criteria. At the same time, you’re the more likely you are to meet someone who is simulating the qualities you’re looking for. L.A among other big cities is a center for matchmaking services and many of the matchmaking services are targeted at people with moderate to high incomes.
A lot of the services are scamming, like the Russian bride services are designed to squeeze as much money out of lonely socially inept guys as possible on the way to possibly hooking you up with an attractive Russian woman who may or may not want to have anything to do with you after the money squeezing is done or even after she comes to America and marries you. We’ve touched other factors including kids even if you’re spouses is a jerk; the kids will probably be innocent parties to whatever devastation you wreak.
Maybe the last major factor I want to talk about is just your likelihood of finding yourself happier after you upend your life by ending a relationship. One factor I just mentioned is money, another factor is age.
Even though I’m not in the market for any relationship besides the one I have with my wife, I noticed that once my hair started graying it just became weird. I’ve never been super attractive to just women I meet incidentally but I feel extra invisible as an older guy.
I probably shouldn’t even be noticing this stuff anyway, but if you’re in your mid-40s or older and you don’t have millions of dollars and you’re a guy who is possibly a little bit scummy / slash horny, you may not be able to attract the woman of your dreams or she may be the woman of your dreams only in some ways and absolutely horrible in other ways.
If you’re just looking to have a midlife sexual adventure, it’s almost certainly not worth wrecking an existing serviceable relationship.
Any sexual satisfaction you get will most likely be fleeting and possibly empty and smart people learn to:
- a) Work on an existing relationship; and
- b) Freaking masturbate to the paradise of porn that is the Internet.
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American Television Writer
Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Editor-in-Chief, In-Sight Publishing
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