June 30, 2020
[Beginning of recorded material]
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: You live in a place with a lot of famous people. What is it like living in a place like that?
Rick Rosner: For a long time, I worked for a famous guy who kind of got famous as I worked for him. He was a teeny bit famous when I worked for him and got a lot famous as I worked for him. Working on his show, more famous guests came in.
I didn’t seek out guests to meet them, because it turned out awkwardly – ugh. But on the show I worked on, the writers I worked with were part of the production team when working with guests. So, I worked with quite a few famous people.
You try not to act weird around them. It is fine. Everybody does their job. I was not allowed to meet… I wrote a bit that ended up in a Cruise bit. My bosses decided I was too weird and shouldn’t be allowed to interact with Tom Cruise.
I semi-met him on the red carpet. We sent one of the interviewers down to the red carpet, a movie premiere, generally. Our interviewer would yell at people on the carpet trying to get them to come over and answer questions.
One time one of the people was Tom Cruise. The gimmick our show used was a not good interviewer. This interviewer went on and on at Tom Cruise and not allowing Tom Cruise to say anything. He made eye contact with me like “this is the bit?” My eye contact said back, “Yes, this is the bit,” back to him.
He did hold a silicone model of my foot, I found, later. I have a grotesque foot. Somebody made a copy of it and made it an ashtray. Apparently, when Tom Cruise was over at my boss’s house, he held it up.
Jacobsen: What did he say?
Rosner: I don’t know. They sent Tom Hanks. He was personally nice. They sent someone with me to Tom Hanks because they thought I’d be weird alone. I didn’t say much. I was just there. Hollywood is a place for people some of the best social skills in the world.
If you’ve got really good social skills, then you might be tempted to gravitate to entertainment and to live in L.A. The people with the best social skills do really well. My social skills aren’t terrible. They’re probably even better than average at this point.
But they are, certainly, not on a scale with some famous people I have met who radiate charisma. Even if they are famous, you’d be like, “Wow, this person is weirdly charismatic.” Then you meet real famous person like that, and you’re like, “Wow, that person is really nice.”
The bar for famous people is lower. One of the bosses pointed out that if a famous person is regularly nice; people talk about them as if they are the nicest person in the world because you don’t expect someone famous to be regularly nice.
Jacobsen: What is the social expectation there as people become more famous from the point of non-famous people, normal people?
Rosner: There is a deal with attractive women in New York City. You have to have a closed face. You can’t look like you would be approachable. Because then people will approach you. So, women in New York City learn to move fast and to have a look on their face like, “You don’t want to try looking at me.” A similar one may be resting bitch face.
My wife has a fairly open face. People would fuck with her, not that often, but, sometimes, in New York. One guy jacked off in front of her. He had his hand in his pants. He wanted her to see he was working his junk right in front of her.
She had other stuff that would happen to her on the subway. It, maybe, happened elsewhere. It was a small sample set. She only lived there 2.5 years. Anyway, celebrities, when they go out, have to develop some distancing skills or they will be approached in the same way a sexy lady might be approached if you don’t have distancing skills, or if you just don’t go out that much.
Really famous people a) don’t go out that much, b) have security, and c) don’t come in the front door, most people who become celebrities, on average – there are idiots who become famous, are at least somewhat smart, because it is helpful not to be an idiot.
It helps to be an actor if you aren’t dumb because good acting is correlated with smartness. You can be an idiot and be an intuitive actor, a good actor, but you are more likely to be a competent actor if you are smart.
So, I don’t know. Everybody who is not famous and probably a lot of people who aren’t famous in L.A. act like they are not excited to see or thrilled to see famous people. They don’t bug them, don’t make a fuss, but inside they’re excited.
It is a known thing. To see a famous person and pretend like you are seeing a selfie, and swing around as if the celebrity is coming into the back, there is a guy called Cole Sprouse who is on Riverdale. He loves to take pictures of people, catching them sneaking pictures of him.
Jacobsen: [Laughing] That’d be a fun game.
Rosner: I’ve always wanted to be famous enough to be able to interact with famous people as a semi-famous person myself, but I haven’t reached that point, yet. We’ve gone. My wife and I have gone to places. We went to the Emmys a couple of years.
We went to post-Emmys parties and stuff. We rode in an elevator with Ellen DeGeneres and her wife. We knew enough not to make conversation with them. Celebrities feel a little exalted. One time, Colin Farrell, the Irish actor.
I was on Hollywood Boulevard. He was looking at me. I get recognized very occasionally because there is a bunch of video of me up. He was looking at me as if he’d seen videos of me, then there I am, the guy he has seen videos of me.
I know somebody has shown Conan O’Brien the Errol Morris documentary. He said it made him scared and nervous. That’s a talk show host reaction. Obviously, he is not really scared and nervous. His reaction would be that is a bizarre guy who makes me nervous.
This Colin guy recognized me. This is the one time a famous person recognized me…
He was driving a big, white fancy pickup truck and looking at me, but not in a gay way. He was so straight he had a sex tape scandal, maybe more than one, where beautiful women were banging him.
Back in the day, he used to be a party guy. Anyway, my writing partner’s brother’s wife, I think, worked on Conan and Conan ended up being shown the Errol Morris documentary because it is such an entertaining documentary because I am such a weirdo.
He said ‘he is a scary guy,’ because I am such a weirdo. If you’re a late night guy, you’re going to give a glib reaction.
Jacobsen: Who else has recognized you?
Rosner: Among famous people, that’s it. I get recognized three times a year by non-famous people. They come up to me and say, “You’re Rick Rosner. Are you?” I say, “Yes,” usually at the gym, then we will talk for a little bit.
Jacobsen: What do you talk about?
Rosner: It is occasionally about being ‘that guy’ or occasionally talking about smart stuff. They go and do stuff on machines and then I go and do stuff on other machines.
Jacobsen: Are you dying for that attention?
Rosner: As a young person, I think, but less now. But we’ve been in lockdown for three fucking months [Laughing]. I just want my neighbours to stop partying so much.
Jacobsen: [Laughing] Are you turning into an old man?
Rosner: I have no reason to go out. I have only gone out to the gym for three times. People aren’t wearing masks or aren’t wearing them right. I had kidney surgery. I work out all the time. I’m 60 years old. I don’t want to get the Covid. I’m not in the demographic that, apparently, gets it without much in the way of symptoms.
I could get really sick. I don’t even want to get a little sick. If I had a job that I had to go to every day, I might take the risk of going to the job and being okay with the possibility of getting sick, because I could be over it and do whatever I wanted.
Unless, the studies they’ve done prove to be true and you only stay immune for a few months, which would suck. Given that there is no reason for me to leave the house, why should I run the risk. I will leave the house, but I’m going to take maximum precautions.
I wrap a scarf around my lower face. Then I put a mask on on top of it. Since I have a beard, the mask doesn’t fit on entirely anyway. I have double protection with the mask not fitting tightly, but the scarf fits all the way around the beard and the mask fits on top of it.
I get what is effectively a tighter fit, which may or may not matter because the mask is primarily to stop me from infecting other people. But it does have to fit to keep me from infecting other people, since I got this double, triple layer deal.
I think I do still want to be famous. Even though, the main thing that I wanted to be famous is being famous young to get laid a lot. That’s now very off the table for a number of reasons, including I am married and don’t want to fuck that up. And I am old, and several other reasons.
The fucking beautiful women is off the table, besides my wife.
The end.
[End of recorded material]
Authors[1]
American Television Writer
(Updated July 25, 2019)
*High range testing (HRT) should be taken with honest skepticism grounded in the limited empirical development of the field at present, even in spite of honest and sincere efforts. If a higher general intelligence score, then the greater the variability in, and margin of error in, the general intelligence scores because of the greater rarity in the population.*
According to some semi-reputable sources gathered in a listing here, Rick G. Rosner may have among America’s, North America’s, and the world’s highest measured IQs at or above 190 (S.D. 15)/196 (S.D. 16) based on several high range test performances created by Christopher Harding, Jason Betts, Paul Cooijmans, and Ronald Hoeflin. He earned 12 years of college credit in less than a year and graduated with the equivalent of 8 majors. He has received 8 Writers Guild Awards and Emmy nominations, and was titled 2013 North American Genius of the Year by The World Genius Directory with the main “Genius” listing here.
He has written for Remote Control, Crank Yankers, The Man Show, The Emmys, The Grammys, and Jimmy Kimmel Live!. He worked as a bouncer, a nude art model, a roller-skating waiter, and a stripper. In a television commercial, Domino’s Pizza named him the “World’s Smartest Man.” The commercial was taken off the air after Subway sandwiches issued a cease-and-desist. He was named “Best Bouncer” in the Denver Area, Colorado, by Westwood Magazine.
Rosner spent much of the late Disco Era as an undercover high school student. In addition, he spent 25 years as a bar bouncer and American fake ID-catcher, and 25+ years as a stripper, and nearly 30 years as a writer for more than 2,500 hours of network television. Errol Morris featured Rosner in the interview series entitled First Person, where some of this history was covered by Morris. He came in second, or lost, on Jeopardy!, sued Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? over a flawed question and lost the lawsuit. He won one game and lost one game on Are You Smarter Than a Drunk Person? (He was drunk). Finally, he spent 37+ years working on a time-invariant variation of the Big Bang Theory.
Currently, Rosner sits tweeting in a bathrobe (winter) or a towel (summer). He lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife, dog, and goldfish. He and his wife have a daughter. You can send him money or questions at LanceVersusRick@Gmail.Com, or a direct message via Twitter, or find him on LinkedIn, or see him on YouTube.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Founder, In-Sight Publishing
Scott Douglas Jacobsen is the Founder of In-Sight Publishing and Editor-in-Chief of In-Sight: Independent Interview-Based Journal (ISSN 2369-6885). Jacobsen works for science and human rights, especially women’s and children’s rights. He considers the modern scientific and technological world the foundation for the provision of the basics of human life throughout the world and the advancement of human rights as the universal movement among peoples everywhere.
Footnotes
[1] Four format points for the session article:
- Bold text following “Scott Douglas Jacobsen:” or “Jacobsen:” is Scott Douglas Jacobsen & non-bold text following “Rick Rosner:” or “Rosner:” is Rick Rosner.
- Session article conducted, transcribed, edited, formatted, and published by Scott.
- Footnotes & in-text citations in the interview & references after the interview.
- This session article has been edited for clarity and readability.
For further information on the formatting guidelines incorporated into this document, please see the following documents:
- American Psychological Association. (2010). Citation Guide: APA. Retrieved from http://www.lib.sfu.ca/system/files/28281/APA6CitationGuideSFUv3.pdf.
- Humble, A. (n.d.). Guide to Transcribing. Retrieved from http://www.msvu.ca/site/media/msvu/Transcription%20Guide.pdf.
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Rick Rosner 